Bridal magazines, books and blogs are filled with checklists and etiquette guides to help brides through the process of planning — and surviving — a wedding. They are filled with suggestions, examples, and, of course, advertisements, designed to entice brides to create unforgettable, and elaborate, wedding events that are more production than celebration.

At some point in the planning process a modern bride is going to run smack into a roadblock known as family tradition. They may have every detail planned out in advance only to be told by their family or the groom’s family that they have to wear a specific item, serve a specific dish, or add another gathering to the wedding schedule because that’s what the family has always done.

Many a bride is reduced to tears, though usually in private, at the thought of giving up some part of their dream wedding or having it interrupted by the inclusion of something they find personally distasteful. However, learning to compromise with family is probably a good skill to acquire as she prepares for the marriage that comes after. So, whether it’s wearing an ancient used wedding dress or having to participate in the chicken dance, family tradition will likely win out when it comes to a wedding.